Member Contributor — Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT

Your Guide to Navigating 2024

Imagine this: You’re embarking on a new year, filled with resolutions and hope. But there’s a twist – you’re also navigating the choppy waters of divorce. It’s like planning a journey to a destination you’ve never wanted to visit. This isn’t just any challenge; it’s a life-altering ordeal that you never anticipated would become part of your story. Yet, here you are, standing at a crossroads, wondering how to move forward.

The Challenge of Divorce

Divorce isn’t just a legal dissolution of a marriage; it’s an upheaval that reverberates through every aspect of your life. The obvious challenge is the legal process – dividing assets, deciding custody, and the endless paperwork. These logistical nightmares are daunting, to say the least. Beneath the surface, there’s a tumult of emotions – the grief of a lost partnership, the sting of failure, and the daunting task of rebuilding your life. Then comes the philosophical struggle. It feels inherently unfair – why me? It’s a question that haunts many, underscoring a sense of injustice and broken dreams. However, it’s vital to remember that it doesn’t have to be this way. There is a path forward.

Your Guide to 2024

I’m Steven Unruh, a divorce mediator with over 30 years of experience. I’ve seen firsthand the challenges you’re facing, and I’m here to help guide you through this turbulent time. With the right approach, 2024 can still be a year of personal growth and newfound happiness.

1. Embracing Change
Change is an unavoidable part of life, and your reaction to it can significantly impact your journey. See this period as an opportunity for transformation. Use it as a catalyst for personal growth and development. Embracing change can lead to positive and profound life transformations.

2. Seeking Support
Navigating life’s challenges, especially those as impactful as divorce, isn’t a journey you have to undertake solo. It’s important to remember that seeking and accepting support isn’t a sign of weakness but of strength and wisdom. Your friends and family can provide a comforting presence, offering emotional support, practical advice, or simply a listening ear when you need it most. Moreover, professional guidance from therapists, counselors, or divorce mediators can be invaluable. They bring not only their expertise in dealing with similar situations but also an objective perspective that can help you see things differently. These professionals can guide you through the emotional complexities of divorce, helping you make informed decisions and work towards healing. By surrounding yourself with a support system, you create a network of care and assistance that can make a significant difference in how you cope with and emerge from this life-changing experience.

3. Prioritizing Self-Care
Prioritizing your physical and mental health is essential, especially during challenging times. Regular exercise not only improves your physical well-being but also boosts your mental health by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. A balanced diet, rich in nutrients, supports both your body and mind, enhancing your overall mood and energy levels. Additionally, therapy can be a vital tool in managing and understanding your emotions. It offers a safe space to explore feelings, develop coping strategies, and gain insights into your emotional responses. Integrating these practices into your daily routine can significantly contribute to your holistic well-being.

4. Exploring Mediation
Divorce mediation offers a transformative approach to navigating separation. This process allows for a more amicable resolution, significantly reducing the time, financial burden, and emotional strain typically associated with divorce. Through mediation, both parties can discuss and resolve issues in a collaborative setting, guided by a neutral mediator. This fosters open communication, mutual respect, and understanding, leading to fair and agreeable solutions. Mediation often results in a less adversarial and more harmonious end to a marriage, preserving relationships and setting a positive foundation for any future interactions, especially important if children are involved. Opting for mediation can be a critical step towards a more peaceful transition during this challenging life event.

5. Setting New Goals
Focusing on the future is a crucial step in moving forward. Start by setting achievable goals that align with your personal aspirations. These goals could range from exploring a new hobby that brings you joy and relaxation to seeking career advancement opportunities that offer a sense of accomplishment and growth. Personal development is also key – consider activities that enhance your skills, knowledge, or emotional well-being. Setting these goals provides direction and purpose, creating a roadmap for your journey ahead. As you accomplish each goal, you’ll find a sense of achievement and progress, which can be incredibly empowering during times of change. By focusing on the future with clear, attainable objectives, you pave the way for a fulfilling and rewarding life post-divorce.

Take the First Step Towards a New Beginning

It’s natural to feel resistant or skeptical about these steps, especially when emotions are raw. But remember, every step you take is a move towards a brighter future.

2024 can be the year you rediscover yourself and find happiness beyond divorce. As a seasoned divorce mediator, I am here to support you in this journey. Let’s work together to turn this year into a transformative experience, where you emerge stronger and more fulfilled. Contact me, and let’s start paving the way to your best self.

Steven Unruh is a licensed MFT and a Divorce Mediator. He is the owner of Unruh Mediation. Steven works with high conflict divorce. He has two graduate degrees from Fuller School of Psychology and Fuller School of Theology, Pasadena, CA. He is the father of 3 young men. He loves hiking, running, fishing, reading and dancing.