Member Contributor — Sue Cristol, LMFT

Termination — When to Let Go

There is a lot of material written for mental health professionals about “client termination.” Let me first say that the term “termination” is so cold, so harsh, and so unlike how we engage with our clients. Nevertheless, this is the term that we learned in graduate school and the term used in research and other literature.

I would rather think of this phase of the therapeutic relationship as a gradual, mutual “letting go." Both parties need to decide when the client will stop coming to therapy. Ideally, it should be a process that takes place over the course of a few sessions. Realistically, many clients just stop coming or they abruptly announce that they no longer can attend sessions. For purposes of this article, I am only referring to terminations that occur over the natural course of therapy, not when the therapist ends it for other reasons, such as non-payment or the client ends it because of an upcoming move or other change.

We know that many of us, clients and therapists alike, do not like goodbyes. So often, both parties are reluctant to address the issue. However, it is our ethical duty and professional responsibility to bring it up periodically throughout the different phases of therapy. It is usually a good idea to check in with our clients every couple of months and discuss the general treatment plan, e.g., are the goals being addressed and what progress is being made? Perhaps the treatment plan needs to be revised and it would be an effective time to do that.

Sometimes, we have clients that need emotional support and an objective perspective but don’t necessarily want to adhere to a specific treatment plan. For these clients, keeping track of progress is just as important, but may be more challenging to gauge. A more informal review of progress makes more sense. Weaving the topic into the conversation might be challenging but is something we need to do in order to maintain an ethical and responsible relationship with our clients. Naturally, our notes would reflect current level of functioning and whatever progress is noticed.

Addressing this stage of therapy is a collaborative effort that allows the client to practice self-determination and assertiveness, both of which, for many of our clients, are much needed skills to practice. Discussing the time when a client no longer needs to attend therapy can become a hopeful and positive objective to work toward. As with most issues, it requires finesse and sensitivity. We want our clients to feel comfortable and secure. Bringing up termination may cause some anxiety, especially for a client who is not ready for this conversation.

However, when we introduce the subject early on as a part of the therapy process, it will be better tolerated. We’re not responsible “for” our clients but “to” them — to carry the hope when they are unable, to believe in change for the better and encourage persistence, to be that objective voice in their head rather than the critical one they often hear.

For many who have had past losses or trauma, abandonment and/or attachment issues, trust and honesty are paramount. Developing a successful therapeutic alliance will facilitate inspiring that trust. Helping our clients to successfully “let go” when the time comes will be a corrective emotional experience. Of course, we will be there if they need to check back for a tune-up or just to say hi.

Susan Cristol, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She works with children, adolescents, couples or adults. Susan stays current on research in the field of special education, as well as research and the many writings in the areas of psychology, sociology and marriage and family therapy. Her specialized training includes (but not limited to) cognitive behavioral therapy, trauma and abuse, domestic violence and play therapy. She may be reached 818.426.5546 or at https://susancristol.com/contact.