Cinema Therapy — Charlyne Gelt, Ph.D.

Marigold Hotel

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a 2011 British comedy-drama film directed by John Madden. The screenplay, written by Ol Parkery, is based on the 2004 novel These Foolish Things by novelist Deborah Moggach ,who came up with the idea of exploring the lives of the elderly beyond what one would expect of their age group. The film takes the older characters completely out of their element and involve them in a romantic comedy. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel isn't groundbreaking storytelling, but it's a charming, funny and heartwarming movie about the senior set featuring veteran actors Judy Dench,Tom Wilkinson, Dev Pate, Bill Nighy, Penelope Wilton, and Maggie Smith.

Retirement is expensive and not all retirees have the funds to support their dreams of a comfortable lifestyle. Fortunately, Sonny has a dream of creating a home for the elderly so wonderful that they will refuse to die. It is advertised as a luxury development where all the residents are in their golden years. So, a small group of British retirees decide that to live the life they want they need to pool their resources. to move to Jaipur, India, to stay in the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Evelyn Greenslade, a widowed housewife, must sell her house to pay off her husband's debts; Graham Dashwood, a court judge who lived in Jaipur as a child, abruptly decides to return there and find his lost lover; Jean and Douglas Ainslie hope to have an affordable retirement, after investing in their daughter's internet business; Muriel Donnelly, a former housekeeper, decides to have a cheaper hip operation in India; Madge Hardcastle, after several unsuccessful marriages, searches for new romance overseas; and Norman Cousins, attempts to relive his youth.

Nothing runs smoothly! After an eventful journey to Jaipur, the retirees discover the hotel is a dilapidated site, run by the energetic but inept manager, Sonny Kapoor. Upon arriving at the once-opulent Marigold Hotel, the pensioners come to realize that the hotel's restoration has been greatly exaggerated. They feel swindled out of their life savings! Then, they summon the courage to sever their ties to the past and embrace their new life with a sense of wonder and adventure.

“Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” — Betty Friedan

Psychological Implications

What happens when a previously structured lifestyle greets the emotional and financial uncertainty of the rest of your life? The Marigold characters face a turning point, which leads them directly into change, out of their comfort zone. They face contrast and crisis, like it or not. For example, in their minds’ fantasy of what retirement “should” look like as well as the climate and geography of India which is not something one cannot just snap into. The contrast of their reserved lives with the challenges and chaos of Jipur, India. The film uses metaphor of the falling down Marigold hotel needing serious repairs and reconstruction with the lives of these British retirees who seek to reconstruct themselves, begin facing their fears, even hope for love and romance. Some fight the challenges and others embrace them. Actually, things change most of the time.You’re never in one place too long before there will be another challenge. The characters simulate a family system, each character has a role, plays a part in holding the family together. Every character is so different, unique and interesting and the appeal is seeing them learn to interact together as a unit for a common goal: a challenging, exciting way to spend the rest of their lies in retirement. “What do you see that I don’t”? LIFE!

In the end, the residents stay to enjoy their retirement, Evelyn commenting with the moral, "We get up in the morning, we do our best".

Think of Your Stage, Not Your Age “There’s a serious problem in America in the way many of us — and businesses — view people over 60 as a monolithic group.” — Susan Wilner Golden In her book “Stage (Not Age),” longevity expert and Stanford University researcher, Susan Wilner Golden, makes a case that chronological age is not really what should define us, especially in the second half of life. What’s most important, she says, is the stage of life we're at. For example, a 50-year-old and a 75-year-old may be in different age groups, but they may both at the same stage of life, in what she calls the "reinvention stage." In other words, people should be assessed based on what they do rather than on how old they are.

Why is it so many of us wait until we reach life's end zone to discover the true meaning and joy in our lives? How can we make sure that our lives are not just longer, but emotionally and physically healthy and rewarding? In the film “The Marigold Hotel,” a group of elderly English retirees facing the challenges of trying to find purpose late in life, cope with economic stress, and ultimately enjoy romantic connections. What the film teaches us is that as we age, there are many things, including love relationships, which can contribute to our overall health, happiness, and longevity, such as a sense of bonding, belonging, kinship, and being appreciated and we don’t have to wait until we’re old to discover these things.

It’s important to remember that aging is not a journey towards diminishment, but rather an opportunity for continuous renewal and deepening of love. The wisdom shared by researchers like Susan Wilner Golden and depicted through stories like "The Marigold Hotel" illuminates a path forward that is rich with possibilities for connection, growth, and joy. Love, in its many forms, is not just for the young, but is ever available to us all at any age.

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ― Agatha Christie Life is short. Death is certain. Love is real!

Charlyne Gelt, Ph.D. (PSY22909) is a clinical psychologist who practices in Encino. She leads Women's Empowerment Groups that help women learn the tools to move beyond self-destructive relationship patterns. She may be reached at 818.501.4123 or cgelt@earthlink.net. Her office address is 16055 Ventura Blvd. #1129 Encino, CA 91436. Her latest edition of Cinema Therapy Binders will be made available for sale on Amazon this month - stay tuned for link!